Officials of the Autocracy

"Heh heh heh! Oi, Boss! You’re gonna love this one, I promise ya! So, I was tinkerin’ last night—y’know, fiddlin’ with bits o’ scrap, some gears, maybe a pinch o’ that powder wot goes boom—and bam! I made somethin’ genius! Now, picture this: yer enemies, all smug an’ standin’ there like they own the place, yeah? Then—whoosh!
Outta nowhere, my spiky-spinny launcher goes off, flingin’ blades like a whirlwind o’ death! They’ll be screamin’, runnin’, an’ beggin’ for mercy while you, Boss, stroll in all calm-like. You’ll look like a proper hero, yeah? Oh! Oh! An’ that’s not all! I’ve been workin’ on a shield what spits fire.
Sounds daft... I know.. But trust me, Boss, they’ll never see it comin’. One second, they’re swingin’ their swords; the next—fwoosh!—toasty bad guys! Heh heh! I mean, sure, last time the gears jammed a bit, an’ uh...we lost three of our guys. But that’s fine! Small price to pay for perfection, innit? I’ll get it workin’ proper for the next battle. Promise, Boss! So whaddya think? You gimme the word, an’ I’ll get these beauties prepped faster than a troll can eat a roast hog.
Eh? Sound good, Boss? Please say yes… please..."